Chilli Con Carne

Let me start this recipe saying I really fucking hate mince. I hate the texture, I hate anything made with it (except burgers but they are a whole different story), I hate everything about it. I once spent four hours making a shepherds pie and had to stop eating after a mouthful.

That said, I am poor. Super poor. And mince is cheap and you can freeze it. So a couple of months ago I made my first chilli. And it wasn’t half bad. And by now I’ve just about cracked some sort of cack-handed recipe. It’s pretty cheap, uses up things I have lying around and feeds three people or two with leftovers.

It is a little spicy, add less cayenne and chilli if you’re a total wimp.

In it goes:

• One large white onion, cut into half rounds
• At least two cloves of garlic, minced
• 500g lean beef mince
• Tablespoon of smoked paprika
• Tablespoon of cayenne pepper
• Teaspoon of ground cumin
• One green chilli
• One green pepper, cut into cubes
• A beef stock cube
• Can of chopped tomatoes
• Can of kidney beans

To serve: plain boiled rice and a handful of grated cheddar. If you are fancy you could swirl through some sour cream.

In a deep pan sweat the onions and garlic on a low heat. Throw in the mince, turn up the heat and brown it off until it’s all cooked. Keep giving it a good stir to break all the meat up.

Add the chilli, the paprika, the cayenne pepper and the cumin and stir up to evenly coat everything.

At this point, if you have one, you can chuck in a glass of red. I did today, but prefer to save it for drinking, to be honest. Especially as that seems far more fiscally sensible.

Throw in the tin of tomatoes and drain the beans and add them too. Dissolve the stock cube in a cup of water and pour into the pan. Tip in the pepper and give it a good stir. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Bring everything to the boil and then turn the heat down. Let the pan gently simmer with the lid on for about half an hour. Check it occasionally to make sure it isn’t sticking. If it starts to, add a tiny bit of water and make sure the heat is properly low.

Take the lid off and turn the heat up to medium. Let it bubble until the sauce has really reduced and the meat is moist but not soaking in liquid.

Turn the heat off and pop the lid back on. You need to let it sit now for at least ten minutes. It is even better the next day so, if like me, you are cooking for your lonesome self, you can thank me twice.

While you’re letting it rest so all the flavours mingle you can cook your rice.

Serve up on top of the rice with a bit of cheese. Drink lots of beer or red wine and decide you really will go for your first run ever tomorrow, despite the fact everyone will clearly point and laugh. (You won’t go. We all know that.)