15 Things…

29 Dec

15 things As someone who sees low blood pressure as a challenge, here are fifteen utterly innocuous things I’m making sure ruin my day.

1. Having to google the spelling of ‘innocuous’

2. The fact the only music on my phone is Now That’s What I Call Christmas after I deleted everything else to fit the whole album on so I could play it during Christmas Day, rather than letting my guests talk amongst themselves

3. Spending three minutes in Pret arguing with the girl on the till about the cost, having forgotten that for the price of a green smoothie I could fly to a tropical rainforest and just eat that

4. Green smoothies

5. Other people’s Facebook privacy settings

6. The strange rhythmic clicking my hair straightners have started to make

7. This Buzzfeed list that seems to equate girls having to wear proper school uniform with banning the burqa, as if rolling your skirt up so the builders redoing the English classrooms  basically have no choice but to look at your knickers  and wearing your shirt tied up just under your bra just in case Mr Quarmby suddenly realises he is in love with you is somehow a human right

8. The fact that Christmas is over.  Exacerbated by number two

9. Unrealistic expectations for New Years Eve, which I already know will simply involve me and my boyfriend getting into a small row at 11.49pm before having a no-tongues kiss at midnight neither of us is in the mood for

10. Other people also being allowed to use public transport

11. Sunshine

12. The hole in my coat pocket I keep forgetting about until I’m forced to shove my entire arm into the lining to retrieve my phone

13. The fact I genuinely just spent 99p getting a retro Tamagotchi app for no reason other than I felt a bit nostalgic, a feeling which disappeared after precisely three minutes and seventeen seconds (I’ve named the Tamagotchi Richard, despite it being a girl.)

14. How much I hate All About That Bass

15. The knowledge that every day that goes past, each late night, every unwanted sambuca shot someone brings back from the bar, that time I slept on a waffle weaved pillow, is quickly showing on my face. Forever. And that in reality, drinking loads of mineral water and clutching your boobs tightly to your chest as you jog does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I can hear the sands of time rushing past, almost as loud as that fucking clicking from my straightners


One Response to “15 Things…”

  1. victoriaranne December 29, 2014 at 8:22 pm #

    Sad x


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