Boys I

10 Sep

This is the first in what I plan to be an on-going saga of WTFness brought on by living with a boy for the first time. They’re weird and put lardons in everything they cook. Coming to you soon as a BBC Three mini-series. I imagine.

So, the time has come. The Chap and I are moving in together. In fact, we’re already living together, holed up at my mother’s house, using the amenities and eating all her food.

While it isn’t the best situation it’s quite a nice ease-in for me into cohabiting for the first time. In the sense that I get to learn everything that is going to piss me off in the comfort of my own home. Please see the Boys posts as my way of dealing with the tiny little things before they create a catastrophic rage tornado.

Boys Can’t Close Things

I’ve realised that boys seem to have an aversion of shutting anything. Anything at all.

Every time. Crumbs repeatedly fall through the gap, requiring diligent clearing.

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This just sits open, waiting for me to stub my toe on it. He didn’t even realise it was his drawer, with all his socks in it, until I mentioned it. Now it is never closed. Perhaps he thinks he will forget it again if he can’t see what’s in it.

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I also can’t Hoover properly any more because stuff. Stuff everywhere. Mainly my stuff because I can no longer store my three (three?!) hair straighteners and unused curlers in the chest of drawers.

Another kitchen crime. How? Why? He’s tall enough to knock himself out on it. I think this sits fully open as our cupboards close themselves if they’re only ajar.

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IT ISN’T EVEN JUST DOORS. I threw all my earrings out so he could have a little cufflink pot and they weren’t just scattered to the four winds at night. Why. Why. Why.

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Deep breaths. Deep breaths. They stop doing this, right? This isn’t forever, right?

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9 Responses to “Boys I”

  1. Food, sweat and tears September 11, 2013 at 9:34 am #

    Misandrist

  2. Richard Evans September 11, 2013 at 9:37 am #

    You forgot wet towels on the bed and underpants on the floor, but on the whole a good start

  3. Emma Williams September 11, 2013 at 12:01 pm #

    This made me laugh! It starts out as annoying, is briefly endearing, and then goes back to being annoying again. On the other hand, I have been known to (a) leave earrings on the arm of the sofa (b) leave heels to be tripped over wherever I’ve stepped out of them upon arrival home and (c) storing moisturizer/eye cream in the fridge causing a tipsy soft cheese/expensive cream toast conundrum….

    • Sarah Duggers September 11, 2013 at 12:04 pm #

      I am waiting with bated breath for the endearing stage!

      PS I edited this after my lovely aunt pointed out a spelling mistake because I’m that sort of knobber.

  4. Chrissed by Fire (@chrstinadarling) September 16, 2013 at 12:25 pm #

    So much solidarity with this. Mine also manages to shed toenail clippings EVERYWHERE, it’s horrendous.

    • Sarah Duggers September 16, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

      OH GOD. Don’t tell me that. I don’t think I could handle stepping on one.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Boys II | sarahduggers - September 16, 2013

    […] The second installment in my series of the weird stuff boys do when left to their own devices. I was hoping everyone would tell me you can train them out of all this, but apparently not. You can see part one, ‘The Drawer Wars’, here. […]

  2. Boys III | sarahduggers - September 27, 2013

    […] Be Tidy A mug on its side in the middle of the floor is not “the bedroom is tidy”. Whatever boys tell you. And, the most exciting bit, ALL THE DRAWERS AND CUPBOARDS WILL BE SHUT! […]

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