Beach Blanket Babylon

10 May

beach blanket babylon


I love Made in Chelsea. It isn’t even a guilty pleasure, I just openly adore it. I also fancy Andy and his massive nostrils. They make me feel really safe. Anyway, Andy keeps taking people (when I first wrote that I typed ‘me’ by accident, which says it all about how often I retreat into my own tiny fantasy word) on dates to Beach Blanket Babylon in Notting Hill. God knows why though, as he basically gets dumped every time he goes.

So, you know, that was an introduction to me telling you that my boyfriend took me there on Tuesday night. My boyfriend who isn’t Andy Nostrils. :(((((((

The restaurant is lovely looking – if you like slightly mad, ornate kitsch –  but I will never be arsed to go back there again. Unless it was just for cocktails, as they were the evening’s only redeeming feature.

Our waiter was nice enough, but could barely speak English. The table behind us had this conversation:
“Can I have a glass of Moet?”
“No, Moet.”
And then they both had to point it out to him on the menu.

When the Chap ordered a dry gin Martini he asked if he wanted it made with Hendricks, then just proceeded to list brands while T.C. repeatedly just asked for it to be made with a dry gin. Then came the somehow incredibly difficult conversation about him wanting an olive, rather than a twist. Guess what turned up.

We both went for the burger, which the Chap asked for blue. “So…… like rare?” Seriously? Well, it would have been like rare, had it not turned up medium well, and mine like boot leather.

Even the chips were a bit meh. And it takes a lot for me to say that. Especially as I broke my diet to eat them.

The tomato and basil salad I ordered on the side was more balsamic glaze than anything, and the tomatoes were that weird, foamy texture that makes me sad in the face.

The bottle of red we ordered to go with the blah burgers turned up, was tried and then once my glass was poured the waiter barked “you want wine?” at the Chap. What? Yes! He just ordered it and tasted it! Of course he wants it! It was raised-eyebrow funny but also just totally weird.

We decided to leave pudding and have another cocktail – I was drinking passion fruit and raspberry martinis and T.C. had an old fashioned to round off dinner. Both of these were excellent, but not exactly good enough to make up for the food.

So, all in all, not the best evening ever. While everyone was very friendly and the restaurant is pretty I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone due to the lackluster food and poor service, especially as the bill wasn’t exactly small. As a bar though, thumbs up. Every cloud.

Bill lols !!!!!!!!!!

Bill lols !!!!!!!!!!

PS I realise this might sound unnecessarily harsh about our waiter but we were genuinely amazed by the whole performance. He seemed to have no clue what he was doing or why and I’ve never experienced anything like it and would quite like not to again as it was pretty disconcerting.


5 Responses to “Beach Blanket Babylon”

  1. Mike Fleming May 10, 2013 at 1:43 pm #

    Did you tip your waiter accordingly or were you very british and polite about it?

    • Sarah Duggers May 10, 2013 at 1:45 pm #

      There was 12.5% added on the bill already so I think we left it at that.

    • Sarah Duggers May 10, 2013 at 1:46 pm #

      Obviously we didn’t say anything though.

  2. gfunk the gangster of love May 11, 2013 at 1:00 am #

    Oi, nightmare, this blog is good, reallly funny, you should have started doing this ages ago. Hope all is well x

    • Sarah Duggers May 11, 2013 at 1:04 am #

      Thank you darling. xxx PS why don’t you get in the cupboard?


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