20 Dec
Insomnia blogging

Insomnia blogging

It’s two thirty in the morning and I’ve finally given up on trying to sleep after three and a half hours of frustratedly kicking the duvet about and sighing. Sleep is now definitely off the cards thanks to the spider that just ran over my duvet. I will now be up all night burning my bed. CHEERS, NATURE.

Esther Walker (who writes the fantastic Recipe Rifle) wrote a piece on blogging in the Times recently, called How To Be a Blogger – one of her tips was to not go on about how you haven’t posted because you’ve just been sooooo busy. Well, I haven’t been busy, just incredibly lazy (now breaking her first rule) and I’m annoyed with myself as I actually went out into the actual world and did things and promised myself I’d blog about them. And then I just didn’t as I was sooooo busy watching Made in Chelsea and complaining to anyone who would listen about my hangovers.

photo 2

It was too weird to take photos inside the church so you get this instead

There isn’t much point now in me telling you about the Spectator’s Christmas carol service at St Brides, apart from that it was absolutely lovely, though the mulled wine afterwards probably gave everyone diabetes. The church is beautiful and it was so Christmassy and cosy that even Agnes, a committed mouther, joined in the singing. Fraser Nelson just has the best hair. We then went to the pub and stood near a middle-aged couple going drunkenly mental down the phone at someone. CHRISTMAS!

Private Eye annual
The National Theatre put on An Evening With Private Eye a few weeks ago, which, after a mad tube dash and people cancelling, was great fun. Highlights include a brilliant pastiche of Brian Sewell (eerily close to his latest Speccie piece) and the best Boris Johnson impression I’ve ever heard. I didn’t get my annual signed because everyone knows it’s only saddos and the lame who do that making me far too cool for such nonsense. I won’t mention my falling over/plate flipping/sliding in a restaurant afterwards.

I also went to the opening night of the Nordic Film Festival (it’s over now. Sorry.) at the Ciné Lumière and saw Love Is All You Need. It’s a Danish film, set in Italy, starring PIERCE BROSNAN, a description that will never stop making me laugh. It’s actually bloody lovely and deserves a blog of its own, so I’ll save it up and you can probably read about it in about six months.

Now, back to lying in the dark, waiting for that spider to come back and DRINK FROM MY EYES before laying eggs in my hair. Thanks Twitter, for putting that in my head.


One Response to “December”

  1. mattdupuy April 12, 2013 at 2:06 pm #

    You have a choice: spiders or flies. If you accept the general goodness of spiders – they eat flies, which are annoying and make maggots happen; they don’t actually inconvenience humanity one jot, except for the fact they walk in a rather creepy, uncanny valley kind of way and occasionally startle you by scuttling unexpectedly across keyboards/duvets/newspapers/lovers’ faces/(insert unexpected place here) – then they become rather cheerful companions after a while. Glass over the top, piece of paper under the glass, shake glass out of the window. Doesn’t matter how far you are up, as they are too small to get hurt by the drop and they can leave a silk thread behind them that acts like a parachute anyway. Spiders = top smart.


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