Ah the romance

6 Feb

My rather late new years resolution is to totally give up trying to understand men. It is a pointless activity that a. gets you nowhere and b. you’ll never manage.

I have decided that boys are an eternal conundrum and I’m no longer sure even they know what in the name of fuck is going on.

Women seem to have spent the last twenty years putting in a concerted effort to know what the opposite sex is up to. How many hours have been lost pouring through Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, Why Men Love Bitches, The Rules or Women Men Love, Women Men Leave?  Countless books seem to have been written on how to understand men and in my informed (I’ve never read one) opinion they’re probably utter shite.

Last year a friend recommended I pick up a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You as I was sad about a break up. GOOD GOD. Is this book supposed to help people feel better? Yes, obviously, he just isn’t that in to you and, no, it isn’t some failing on your part, it’s just LIFE. But that hardly makes someone you like not liking you not hurt. Unless you are a brain dead moron I suppose.  Then again if you’re taking dating advice off someone who’s professional qualification is writing Sex and the City you probably are.  I declined. And in a few weeks I wasn’t crying in the loos any more or machine eating cheese and onion crisps while spending my working day Facebook stalking him.  Job done.

Here’s the thing: dating is like having a tooth pulled out. One is scary, painful, you don’t want to do it, leaves you feeling rotten and taking drugs for weeks to make you feel better and the other is going to the dentists.  Budum tchhh. The only difference is putting on make up and pretending to offer to buy the drinks. Though if you have a hot dentist you may want to do that too.  Yes, it’s fun and lovely but it can also be a crushing realisation that you’re boring and smell funny. It has to be done though, or who is going to hold your hair back when you get so drunk you’re sick?

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One Response to “Ah the romance”

  1. Matt D February 9, 2012 at 11:41 pm #

    You don’t understand men? Jesus, you should try being one. We have to understand women. Trade you any day…

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