Guest Blog: Elton John at Sussex County Cricket Ground

27 Jun

Mummy Duggers reviews Elton John

Went to the Elton John concert near Brighton on Sunday the hottest day of the year so far.  Ed Drewett was the support act, only 22, writes his own songs and had an excellent backing band.  Elton came on sounding like a drunk bar singer,  Tiny Dancer barely recognisable but by the time Rocket Man and Yellow Brick Road were over the crowd was sold.  Three songs from his new album were treated better, in fact, sounded great and singing improved after that.  Elton declared, to loud applause, that he was now happier than he had ever been.  Stinking rich and happy – what’s fair? The musicians were obviously enjoying themselves with four backing singers one of whom was an original member of Sly and the Family Stone.  She’d had, unfortunately, so much Botox her face was completely frozen and she looked like a rabbit caught in the highlights.  Either that or she was as stoned as an Islamic adulteress.

Meanwhile, on the ground, the organisation was appalling.  No drinks were allowed in but not enough bars were provided so queues stretched around the grounds and middle-aged people with very red faces were waiting for up to an hour just to buy very expensive drinks. At one point I did think that there might be a riot then remembered the crowd consisted of older Brits who would, at worse, tut loudly and write a letter of complaint.  Mine is composed awaiting posting.

Among this older audience, sitting in the row in front of me to my right, was an exquisitely pretty girl.  A nineteen-year-old Grace Kelly with perfect skin.  I was not envious nor did I feel sadness at my loss of youth and beauty I just thought I bet you marry someone very rich.

Same row to my left was the ugliest young couple I have seen in many a year.  As they clung together tightly and gazed adoringly at each other, I thought how lucky they were to find each other.  Isn’t here a special dating website for uglies?

And to the excessively handsome Hugh Grant look-alike three rows in front with the dark ash blonde hair worn slightly long and curling over your collar, I DIDN’T NOTICE YOU.

Please, middle-aged ladies, do not wear little strappy tops with very wide bra straps no matter how comfortable they are.  Note to Sarah, if I ever do this, suffocate me while I sleep.

A long walk along the beach afterwards so, all in all, a really fab day and all thanks to my old mucker Chris T.  I bought her an electric toothbrush for her birthday.  Well you can’t win ‘em all.



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